Last Tuesday I went to the Wang Center in Boston hoping for
a miracle.  We had purchased tickets to
the Long Island Medium- us and 3000 others- hoping to hear from Teddy. While I
new it was a long-shot, I also knew my son was a ham- a celebrity of sorts- so
I knew he wouldn’t be shy coming though…and boy was I right.


Theresa Caputo started the night explaining how people come
through and how readings work in a theatre the size of the Wang. She made it
very clear- people don’t always get the right reading- yet the reading is still
the reading. People could take it however they want. At the time I dismissed
her- but I know now what she meant. It was the very last reading that Tuesday
night. She started like she started all other readings- looking for something
very specific regarding the person that was coming through. In this case- it
was a very young boy who was buried in red and white sneakers. She kept
stressing the red and white sneakers and how significant it was that he was
buried in them. My jaw dropped- and for the first time ever- I was speechless.
I looked at Alex and tears formed in my eyes. She was looking for a very little
boy buried in red and white sneakers- the same red and white sneakers Teddy was
buried in.


I didn’t raise my hand fast enough- truthfully I couldn’t.
There are 3000 people looking, hoping, praying that it was their son coming
through- and so someone else got the reading- someone who’s son was not buried
in red and white sneakers. I immediately got frustrated and wanted to scream-
but in all honesty- it was probably better because with the camera focused
elsewhere- Alex and I got to hear every word our Teddy Nugget was saying- and
when I say there wasn’t anything that wasn’t spot on- I truly mean it. And this
is how I can prove it (plus, I took notes).


“He was a very young
boy that was buried and red and white sneakers- and those sneakers are
Check! Teddy was buried in red and white sneakers that had
super hero capes on the back.  The reason
they were so significant- it was my only request that he be buried in those. No
pants (naturally because he hated them), just super hero red and white
sneakers, his super hero “ka-pow” diaper, his Vince Wilfork Patriots jersey,
and his red “T” cape.  The same red and
white sneakers he wore to his birthday and everyday after.


“I’m seeing him
running towards me and into my arms, that means he died suddenly- or earlier
than expected. I’m also seeing something about a ‘gene’ it’s gene related
somehow- and very rare. There was also a fear the mother would be a carrier.”

Check, check, check. Teddy man had Menkes, the worst disease ever. It was gene
related, extremely rare, and from the second we found out- we worried I would
be a carrier.  He was given three years-
and until that awful week in May when he aspirated, contracted pneumonia, and
died suddenly- we thought we had so much more time. So yes- sudden it sure was


“Also, did he die in
your arms?”


“How do you connect
to the number 3?
How do you connect
to the number three as it relates to his life?”
Check. Teddyman was given a
life expectancy of three years- three years that for some delusion reason, I
was banking on. And then he aspirated…


“I’m seeing teeth-
the teeth are somehow significant or unique. He is showing me his teeth-he wants
me to mention his teeth.” 
Check. I
looked at Judy and Ali then back and Alex and we all just smiled. How could you
talk about Teddy without mentioning his “shark teeth” as we called them. They
were the cutest things in the world and I loved them so very much. They were
both significant and unique- certainly not the teeth you would find on a
“normal child” they were teeth of a boy that had a syndrome. His pallet was
curved and high- his teeth were on the left of his face and crooked as all
hell- but so darn adorable. They were Teddy’s teeth- Teddy’s unforgettable
perfect teeth that we still talk about on a daily basis.


“I’m seeing a
necklace- he’s pointing- something new or significant about a necklace.”
  Check (with Goosebumps all over my body at
this point). That very morning of the performance my mom had come over to see
Royce. I was feeding her in my room when the doorbell downstairs rang. I asked
my mom to answer it. She needed to sign for a package- my new necklace- my new
Teddy necklace. The day before Teddy died, I was lying in bed with my sister
with Teddy Nugget in my arms- and I said to her, “please help Alex get my Teddy
necklace.” She knew what I meant- we had already talked about it before Teddy
had taken his unexpected turn. I wanted a gold bar necklace that said “Teddy.” That
Tuesday morning it arrived, “Teddy” on one side, “04.23.13” on the back. As I
put it on with my mother in the room- I said out loud, “Teddyman, Mommy’s got
your necklace now- feel free to tell me about it tonight!” and then I started
laughing. At this point I was doing everything to not start sobbing…and then
came the next thing.


“Did you make a quilt
and pillow made of his clothes? He wants you to know that he knows about this
and that he is good with your decision to cut up his clothes.”
Check- and
holy shit. Alex and I couldn’t talk at this point- but Judy and Ali sure could-
they kept hearing, “this is SOO Teddy- this is Teddy!” And there was not a
question in my mind- or Alex’s. Teddy was talking to us…and everything so spot
on it was insane. Not only was a blanket made- but also a very special pillow-
a pillow with every bit of scrap from the blanket so that not a bit of his
clothes were thrown away.  And Teddy was
good with it.


“Is there a little
girl in the picture? I’m seeing a little girl – and she has his name.”
At this point I looked at Alex and said, “she’s talking in the present tense!”
Royce was 12 days old- and named after Teddy.


“He wants you to know
that she is healthy and to not worry about it.”

“You will see your
son in her eyes…”

“She has part of your
sons soul…”

“She will be a

“When she’s alone in
her crib and talking – she will be talking to her brother.”

“You will see signs
of him in her nursery- like spots on the monitor- those dots are her brother.”


“Do you have a locket
of his hair.” 
Check. During those 5
days Teddy was dying, I cut off the back of his hair- stealing some of his very
signature Teddy-do and stored it inside a jewelry box. That locket of hair is
now in his toy trunk and I pull it out and rub it under my chin- as if he’s
sitting on my lap still…


“Do you have a
painting of hands…”
Check. It’s framed and hanging in Alex’s man cave.


“I’m seeing a hat-
he’s showing me a hat and it’s significant.”
 Check. His birthday hat was amazing and our
most favorite picture ever that we used for his obituary and pretty much
everything else. It’s in his toy trunk and the first thing I pull out every
time I go in there.  But more importantly, when he took Teddy
for his last walk down the beach before he passed, his birthday hat was in the
carriage pocket. I put it on him…



“I’m seeing writing
in stone, something specific where there is writing that is significant- in
stone or cement or something similar.”
Check.  We have I love you to the moon and back Teddy
Fish carved into stones in Maine and my back yard- as well as the super T logo.


“I hate to bring up
such an intimate moment, but you did something significant with his eyes
immediately after he passed…he’s showing me eyes.”
Check. When Teddy was
dying- his eyes were half open- I couldn’t even look at his face cause I didn't
want to remember him that way. So he laid on my chest facing out. I kept
telling Alex I just can’t look at his eyes like that. When they pronounced Teddy
had passed, Alex closed his eyes for the final time. I held him as my husband
closed his son’s eyes.


There were other small things she mentioned- but every
single one of them was dead on. I know he was talking to us. But the most
important things that she said was he will tell you what you need to hear, now what you want. And this is what I needed…


“He is whole now…”

“He didn’t know he
was sick…”

“He knew he was loved…”


I love you to the
moon and back Teddy Fish- I’ll never let anyone forget you.